Welcome to Traits of Liesel Baudelaire
A Successful Woman...
You don't yet know me, but I bet we have quite a few things in common
My name is Liesel Baudelaire, and I am a writer, poet, day-trader, artist, and designer. I study linguistics, etymology, anthropology, mythology, logic, philosophy, neuropsychology, astronomy, physics, meteorology, and gemology as personal interests. I love sailing, swimming, stories, mysteries, archery, traveling, and great food. I value family, compassion, equality, liberty, autonomy, logic, understanding, knowledge, and truth.
I'm highly sensitive to sensory stimulation, yet incredibly resilient and tenacious. Despite an inherent inclination towards logic and direct communication, I appreciate dark humor, metaphors, and sarcasm. And I can't help but laugh at slightly unhinged positive affirmations. My favorite?
"I have all the confidence of a middle-aged white man with a trust fund."
For legal reasons, this AI generated image will need to suffice.
My passion, however, is writing.
Until I was about 30 years old, I struggled with (frustratingly obvious) signs and symptoms of undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. During my 30s, I left an abusive marriage, only to be targeted, groomed, SAed, and abused for over 9 months by a now (reportedly) diagnosed ASPD and BPD serial rapist.
Unsurprisingly, my ex once again made physical and romantic advances towards me after he found out about the traumatic events. And of course, I declined. Which caused my ex to feel enraged, choosing to smear me as "insane" to literally everyone possible: our children, family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, co-workers, medical providers, babysitters, lawyers, police, commissioners, judges, and even the GAL, CPS, and a psych evaluator.
And for awhile, my ex succeeded: in 2022, I was misdiagnosed with "Specified Personality Disorder with mixed features". Essentially, I had moderate to severe PTSD and was displaying observable maladaptive behaviors, or traits, of 3 different personality disorders.
Which, in retrospect, seems like a silly diagnosis. Everyone has traits of personality disorders - Literally every adult on earth. But the diagnosis gave my ex, a medical provider, what he needed to silence my voice and perspectives for the next 2 years, as he continued to grossly misrepresent both my sanity and the past.
So I wrote. I wrote to speak and organize; to recall and observe; to process and regulate; to understand and realize; to grow and improve; to challenge and overcome.
In a word, writing helped. In essence, writing healed.
And not just this writer, but potentially others, as well.
Because writing is what helped save me from that rapist; by offering my journal entries, letters, texts, logs, poems, and documentation of the events that happened, I prevented this person from getting away with both what they did to me and from harming anyone else. I even opened the door for prior victims to finally have the justice they deserved.
It also saved my from my ex; by continuing to journal and document events, conversations, and incidences, I showed how my ex's actions, arguments, and claims were deceptive, manipulative, illogical, irrational, and distorted. I showed how he fabricated evidence and misinformation from the chaos he created, and how he then extorted it to gain more control over me.
"When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it."
- Jill Blakeway
But most importantly, writing helped to save me from myself. It gave me a way to articulate the complexities and nuances of my situations while I struggled through the darkest moments; a voice to advocate for myself when I shutdown and became non-verbal; a medium to record events and incidences that would have otherwise been forgotten or misunderstood because of my trauma symptoms; a means in which to grow and heal; a path forward to pursue; and a passion to connect over and share with others. It gave me a deeper and more profound understanding and reflection of my actual traits, allowing my to recognize and realize the conditions I actually have. This, in turn, enabled me to seek proper and more appropriate counseling to improve, protect, and better support myself and my children. Through my writing and interests, I noticed my symptoms, identified a pattern, recognized the condition, and advocated to be reevaluated:
I still have ADHD and PTSD, yes; but I also have Level 1 Autism, I'm just extremely high-masking with low support needs.
For me, it is a powerful tool, and one I fully intend to use with deliberate and successful purpose. I created this site as a platform for that healing, but it also serves as a portfolio for my work. And if you've found my page (and you're still engaged), it most likely means you relate with my stories, poems, and experiences. I hope they bring you as much support and healing to read, as they did and do for me to compose.
"A successful woman is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her." (Anonymous)
Yours truly,
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